03/07/2004: "Jack"

By Carol J. Warren

Jack stood on his tiptoes, stretching as far as he could, clinging to a jagged rock. The rock cut into his hands. He could feel the blood trickling down his wrist, but he dare not let go. He tried to shift his weight from foot to foot on the few inches of rock he stood on, but the rock teetered ominously threatening to flip Jack backwards. Jack knew 200 feet below him lay a boulder strewn dried up creek bed. If only he hadn’t been so stubborn. If only…

Jack’s dad was a big man with simple hard working ways and a big heart. His large 6’4” 250 pound frame was topped with a balding head lined with gray hair and a salt and pepper beard. His naturally red face and bulbous big nose were suitable for his jovial good nature and simple ways. He was a farmer by trade, a deacon at the local church, and spokes person at all functions for the whole area wide farm community.

Jack’s dad came in from the field, his shirt cling to him wet from the heat. Sweat formed little rivulets down his forehead to his cheeks, then down his thick neck soaking his collar. He entered the screen door to the kitchen and found Jack sitting at the kitchen table engrossed in yet another book.

“Jack,” Dad began annoyed, “why didn’t you come to help me after school like I asked you to. You knew I really needed an extra pair of hands today. I almost busted a gut listing those fence rails by myself.”

Jack looked at his red faced, sweaty dad partly with disgust and partly with pity. This was all his dad had ever done and would ever do, “bust a gut” as he said farming. But this was not what Jack wanted to do with his life. He had grander dreams. One thing was for sure Jack intended to make lots of money and have plenty of fun while he still had a chance to, to be able to do that he needed to study and read to broaden his horizons and form his dreams. Every great man had a dream and Jack was determined to be a great man. These were things he had tried to explain to his dad, and his dad really tried to understand and give Jack some room, but Jack had decided that his dad simply could not see the world beyond his farm.

His dad receiving no answer for Jack’s tardiness went on. “To run a farm is hard work son, you know that. We are a family. That means we all pitch in and work together for the good of the whole family. I was depending on you today, and you didn’t even bother to show up. You know the rules, books and homework are important but they can be done after dinner. Day light hours after school we work.”

Jack just scowled; they had been through all of this again and again. What was the point? Jack hated farm work. Honestly he felt that it was beneath him and beneath his dream. A dream he felt he desperately needed to prepare for. After all, as a senior it was only a matter of months until he was off to college. Then this would be a mute point. His dad wanted him to go to the local community college for two years and then transfer to the University. Not only would it save much needed money, but also he really did need Jack’s help on the farm. Jack had applied for a scholarship to the State University. If he were accepted – pow – he would kiss this farm goodbye.

“Dad I really need to study if I’m going to make that scholarship.” Jack said in mock patience. “I wouldn’t stay in if it weren’t important.”

Dad picked up the book, “Stephen King.” He threw the book on the table his temper rising. “I tell you what is important, running this farm is important. Without this farm mister high and mighty, you don’t even eat. That’s what is important. Where are your priorities? This farm was my father’s and his father’s before him. It was good enough for them it should be good enough for you. I never made my dad work this farm alone or treated him with disrespect. We worked side by side like a father and son should, building our family and our farm. This farm will be yours one day. This is your future.”

The red in Jack’s face was quickly racing to catch up with his dad’s. “This,” he said looking around in disgust, “is not my future. I will have a good future.” Jack burst out.

The words fell against his dad’s cheek like a slap. As though he were saying I am ashamed of who you are and what you do and I don’t ever want to be like you. Dad’s hurt showed in his anger, his red face redder than before as he said, “As long as you live in my house, you will do as I say. And I say that you work just like the rest of us.”

“Well I won’t be living here much longer will I?” Jack shouted and stormed out the door as he often did lately to walk off his anger down the old goat trail.

As his Dad turned, the fire was gone, his shoulders drooped and his head dropped under the weight of his sorrow over his son. He glanced back as though he would see Jack coming back, saying he didn’t mean it, but he didn’t. With a heavy sigh he sat in his easy chair, put his head in his hands and began to pray.

“Dear Lord from the day we prayed for a son, I gave him to you. I’ve tried, maybe too hard to raise him for you. I know he is yours and only on loan to me, for which I am grateful. But now,” Dad raised his hands in a jester of helplessness to the Lord. “I don’t know what to do. So I’m asking you Lord, to take over raising Jack. I put him totally in your hands. If there is something I can do, please grant me the wisdom to know. I just ask you to take charge of Jack’s life, protect him from himself, and do whatever it takes to make him the man you want him to be.”
Dad hesitated for a moment taking each word seriously, “He doesn’t have to be a farmer Lord, he doesn’t have to be what I think he should be, just what you want him to be. But Oh Lord, integrity, honor, and Christian values are all things that seem old and boring to Jack. Turn his heart Oh Lord to your ways, to be a real Christian and live the Christian life. Whatever it takes. I won’t interfere Lord. Amen.”

Mama walked in wiping her hands on her apron to find Dad once again in his easy chair, his head in his hands. Mama was slightly plump, a gentle, kind woman. She always had such an innocent way of trusting the Lord that it made you wonder why you had worried at all.

She reached out and touched Dad on the shoulder. He looked up into her sweet smiling face. “You know Jack belongs to the Lord. Though we may not see what to do, the Lord sees clearly all things. He’ll take good care of Jack, so don’t you worry. Now you go wash up before your supper gets cold and I have to use it to slop the hogs.” Then with a smile that showed she was following her own advice and trusting God completely, she went to the kitchen to set dinner on the table.

Dinner though a little tense was much eased by Jack having walked off his temper and Mama calming Dad down. Soon Dad was chatting comfortably about preparing the summer pasture. “Jack,” Dad was saying, “we’re going to have to get an awful early start Saturday to get everything done but I bet between the two of us we can do it.”

“Not this Saturday Dad.” Jack said in a matter of fact way. “I have plans.”

But Dad was not buying his matter of fact tone at all. “What do you mean you have plans? We’ve already postponed this two weeks because I was trying to be fair and let you pick the day. And this is the day you picked. You need to stand by your word son and fulfill you responsibilities. Besides this job can’t wait. We need that pasture now son.”

“Well I know I said this Saturday,” Jack said hating the fact that he had to justify his plans, “But something important came up.”

“What is so all fired important this time Jack.” Dad could feel himself loosing control and that is a scary feeling. “That’s the problem something is always coming up.”

“No it’s not!” Jack said the old anger coming back full blown, “You’re not being fair. There’s a special art exhibit at the museum in the city and it’s only this weekend. So I can’t postpone it. All of my friends are driving into the city to see it. They are going to stop by and pick me up. Then afterwards we’re all going out for pizza. It’s just one day. It’s no big deal. We’ll do the pasture thing next time. And – Oh yeah – I need $20 spending money.”
Dad spoke each word slowly and carefully but that’s not how he felt at all. He felt like a bomb was going off inside of him. “I have tried to be patient but this is too much. You will not go! You will work with me as you promised. A man is only as good as his word. As far as money, in this house we earn our money by working and you haven’t worked in weeks. If you want money you’ll have to work for it first.” With that Dad left the dinner table his meal hardly touched. Jack stormed off too leaving his food. Only Marsha, Jack’s younger sister sat eating in spite of it all.

“Well,” Mama muttered, “I guess I wasn’t kidding about slopping the hogs with their dinner.”

Dad was up bright and early ready to go. He had his breakfast and a second cup of coffee before he told Mama to go wake Jack. He didn’t want him to start the day angry. He was hoping working side by side would be a time of healing between them.

Mama came down with a paper in her hands and from the look on her face Dad knew Jack wasn’t there. She handed him the note. It was from Jack.

Dear Dad,

I’m sorry to disappoint you but we’ll do the work thing next time. It’s not like it’s a big deal or anything. After all you’re only young once. You have to enjoy life while you can. Oh yeah, I took $20 from the cookie jar, I’ll work it off later.

Jack

As Dad read the note his shoulders drooped and his head sagged. Jack really didn’t understand and Dad was clueless on how to make him understand.

Very late that night, Jack came home. He had it all worked out. You see this is Saturday night and his Dad will be in bed. When they wake up the next morning they’ll have to rush around to get ready for church. After church Dad will calm down. Church always calms Dad down. Then the whole thing will blow over and everything will be ok, no problem. Jack was pretty proud of himself for the plan.

He made sure his friends dropped him off at the road and didn’t come up the driveway. “Planning,” Jack told them, “It’s all in the planning.” Carefully he walked on the grass so the sound of the gravel grinding under his feet would not alarm the dog. Before the dog could start barking, Jack gave a low call and the dog came running. He slipped the dog a leftover piece of pizza. Now the dog wouldn’t bark. Jack was congratulating himself on just how much smarter than his Dad he really was. Which proved his point that he didn’t belong on this dead end farm.

Jack took off his shoes before stepping onto the porch. Slowly, very slowly Jack turned the doorknob and eased the door open. There’s an art to this you know. Gently he tiptoed in with his shoes in his hand. Gingerly slowly he eased the door shut behind him. He was half way across the living room and feeling rather smug when the light by his Dad’s easy chair came on, and there sat Dad. He’d been waiting there for hours in the dark for Jack to come home.

Jack decided to try the, I’m truly sorry, I’ll never do this again remorse line, to see if that would put things off until tomorrow. Then his plan could pick up where it left off.

“I’m glad you feel that way Jack.” Dad said calmly, “I’ve been giving this a lot of thought and what you did was very serious. Left unpunished it would be as though I were teaching you the wrong things. It’s late now, go to bed and give it some thought. Tomorrow after church we will talk about your punishment.”

“Punishment,” Jack said in shock, “I’m almost 18, I’m going to college in a few months, I’m a man. I should be able to make my own decisions and do what I want without being punished. I said I was sorry.”

“None the less,” Dad said firmly, “we’ll talk about it again tomorrow.” And with that as a dismissal he got up and went to bed, leaving Jack standing in the dark living room still holding shoes wondering what had happened to his perfect plan.

Fortunately Jack overslept Sunday morning and with all of the rushing around thee was no time to talk about last night but true to his word, after Sunday lunch Dad called Jack into the living room to discuss a punishment.

Jack had calmed down enough to decide to humor Dad. I mean after all how bad could it be. “I’ve given this a lot of thought.” Dad began, “a man must be responsible not only to others but to God. So I’ve decided, the next 4 weekends you will stay home and work. You will not go out at all. Two weekends for disobeying and two weekends to pay back the $20 you took without permission.”

“Four weeks,” Jack shouted outraged. “Four weeks – that’s not fair. Sherry’s birthday is next Saturday. The gang is giving her a party. I can’t miss that.”

“You may wish her happy birthday at school,” said Dad steadily, “but youmay not go to the party. It’s time for you to face up to you Christian responsibilities and get your priorities in order.”

“Christian responsibilities?” Jack yelled, “You don’t have to go to every boring church service and lead a boring life to be a Christian.”

“It wouldn’t be boring if you listened instead of passing notes and fidgeting.” Dad returned, “You talk about being grown up, well then it’s time for you to grow up and face your responsibilities. Fun is nice but God and family are priorities.”

“You can’t make me stay home and break my back working on this farm.” Jack was reaching a fevered pitch, “I’m almost 18, I can do what I want.”

“Not as long as you live under my roof young man.” Dad bellowed loosing the last of his control.

“Then I just won’t live under your roof any more.” Jack shouted, “I’m moving in with Paul tonight.” With that Jack went running out the door to walk out his anger.

Marsha ran in just in time to see Dad slump into his chair, his head in his hands. She was so mad at Jack for hurting Dad. She ran after him yelling out what a jerk he was.

“You’re a real dirt bag Jack.” She yelled still chasing him. “Why are you so mean to Mom and Dad? They should kick you out the way you talk to them.”

“Leave me alone Marsha.” Jack shout back running to escape his pushy sister, “You’re too young to understand. What do you know you’re just a kid? I’m warning you, you’d better leave me alone.” But Marsha wasn’t’ going to give it up that easily.”

The trail went along the edge of a rocky cliff. Jack yelled back as he ran, “Stop chasing me Marsha or I’ll thump you good with a rock.”

But Marsha was undaunted. Jack jerked around to stop and pick up a rock to throw at Marsha but when he did his foot slid on the grave to the edge of the cliff. The crumbling rock gave way and Jack slid 20 feet or so scratching and grabbing for a hold. His foot was on a wobbly ledge just a few inches wide. If he stretched he could barely reach a small jagged out cropping of rocks to hold on to. Nowhere to go from her but 200 feet down to the boulder strewn dried up creek bed below.

Marsha screamed, “Jack, Jack.” She looked over the edge to see him barely holding on. “Run Marsha run quick get Dad.” Jack yelled.

Marsha ran to get Dad but when Jack began to think about his situation… he knew there was no way he could make it. It would take Marsha 10 minutes to run home and even longer for Dad to get a rope and come back. Already Jack’s shoulders ached from stretching to hold on and twice he almost lost his toehold on his narrow ledge. The truth was he wouldn’t be able to hold on that long.

Jack’s face was pressed hard against the hot granite cliff, so he couldn’t look down but he didn’t have to, he had walked that creek bed a thousand times. He knew it was hopeless. Jack began to see things differently. Before he had wanted to have fun while he was young, plenty of time to get serious later. But the truth pressed searing into his heart hotter than the sun drenched rocks against his cheek.

He had blown God and all that was right off for worldly fun. But the fun didn’t look so important now. He thought about the Jesus his parents and church had taught him about. Even if Jesus would have him, he didn’t want to meet him like this. Suddenly he felt so ashamed. Suddenly he saw past not getting his way with his Dad to his Dad’s love for him. He saw how broken hearted his Dad was over him because he really did care. Some of his friends got to do whatever they wanted because their parent’s didn’t care about them. They just wanted them out of the way. But his Dad cared.

Jack repented of his sins. There were a lot of them. He asked the Lord Jesus to cleanse his heart and come fresh into his life. He was preparing to meet the bottom of the cliff and his maker. He wanted another chance to be the son that would please his Dad and his Lord. He wanted to tell his Dad that he loved him. Not leave him in anger like this. “Dear Lord,” Jack prayed, “Please let me have another chance.” One hand slipped, he quickly grabbed the sharp rock again causing it to cut into his hand until the blood from the gashes trickled down his arm. Every moment felt like it was the last that he could possibly hold on. It felt like Marsha had been gone for hours.

Jack’s Dad jumped on the tractor to save time and bulldozed through some bushes and small trees. But about 100 feet from the cliffs a big rock blocked the way making it too narrow for the tractor. Dad grabbed the rope and ran the rest of the way. He ran up to the cliff huffing and puffing and calling Jack’s name. “Jack, Jack where are you son?” He called, afraid there might not be an answer.

“Here Dad, I’m here.” Jack called back.

Dad quickly assessed the situation. He knew Jack couldn’t hold on like that much longer. He anchored the rope around a near by tree and lowered the rope near Jack’s hands. “Grab the rope Jack.” Dad said quickly. Jack tried but he couldn’t make himself let go of the cliff. He just knew that if he let go to grab the rope he would fall. He was scared, more scared that he had ever been in his life.

“I can’t,” Jack said weakly as tears ran down his face. “I just can’t do it.”

Dad lowered himself onto his belly where his face hung over the rocks so Jack could see him. Then calmly he began to speak, “Look up Jack. It’s me Dad. I’m here now. You’re going to be ok. You’re not going to fall.”

Jack looked up to see his Dad’s red sweaty face smiling reassuringly at him. “I’ve lowered a good length of rope between your two hands. Do you see it?” Jack nodded. “Don’t let go with both hands at once. “I’m going to maneuver the rope until it lies across your left hand, OK? Then you can quickly grab it while you still have hold of the rock. Try to wrap it around your wrist a few times so you can’t lose your grip. Then slowly grab on with your other hand and I’ll pull you up.”

Seeing Dad’s face and hearing his voice gave Jack the courage he needed. He nodded his head. Dad moved the rope until it was lying on Jack’s left hand. “Move slowly.” Dad coaxed. Jack let go and grabbed the rope. He almost lost his footing but finally regained his balance and turning his wrist in circles he wrapped the rope around his wrist.

“OK, now grab with the other hand.” Dad said bracing himself. Jack could feel the pit of his stomach turning with fear. It was now or never. He swung his right hand quickly to grab the rope. The swing was too sudden. The force of it threw Jack off his little ledge and left him swinging by arm, screaming and kicking wildly trying to find a place for his feet.

The sudden jerk on the rope almost flung Dad over the edge too. He had tied the rope from the tree around his waist then down to Jack. He wasn’t taking any chances on losing his son. He braced his feet against the rocks and peeked over the edge. Jack was still panicked flailing wildly. “Jack, stop, be still. You’ll rip your arm off. Think.” Dad yelled calmly. “You’re still alive. You’re not falling. You’re ok. I’ve got you. See?”

Exhausted Jack obeyed and stopped fighting and was just swinging a little hanging there by his arm. “Now grab the rope with your other hand.” Dad coaxed. Jack swung his right arm up and managed to grip the rope above his left hand.

“Now easy does it.” Dad called, “brace your feet against the cliff like you were going to walk up the wall. It will give you some balance and take some weight off your arm.”

Jack braced his feet against the cliff. The searing pain in his wrist and shoulder made it hard to think but he just tried to stay focused. Now it was up to Dad. Dad had been praying the whole time. “Lord save my son.” Now he thanked the Lord even before Jack was up the cliff, acknowledging God’s faithfulness and his goodness. Pronouncing his faith as amen.

Slowly Dad leaned forward, got a good hold on the rope with his two huge hands and pulled back. After doing this twice, he would wrap the slack around the rock he braced himself with so Jack couldn’t slip down any. Then he would reach forward and pull again.

As Jack reached the edge of the cliff he saw his Dad pulling the rope, his red face ready to explode. Sweat dripping off the end of his nose. Quickly he grabbed Jack’s good arm and pulled him over the edge onto himself.

Dad just help him rocking him back and forth tears streaming down his face, thanking the Lord for saving his boy. For once Jack didn’t care how sweaty Dad was. He clung to him like a baby burying his face in his big chest. He was thanking God too. Not just for saving his life but for a big strong Christian Dad.

Dad picked Jack up all six feet and carried him in his arms to the tractor. They got him to the house and then off to the hospital. Jack had one broken rib, his shoulder was disjointed and his wrist was broken and that was all but a few cuts and bruises. He was going to be fine. He knew it could have been a lot worse. He knew the only way he was able to hold on that long was the Lord’s help.

A few weeks later at Jack’s high school graduation Jack was running through the crowd in his cap and gown, his diploma in hand in one hand a cast on the other, to find his Mom and Dad. His Dad wore a suit and a tie for the occasion. His face was almost as red as when he pulled Jack over the edge of the cliff. Jack marveled that the button on the shirt could hold under that much pressure.

“Dad, Dad.” Jack called as he ran up to them. “I’ve been waiting for the right moment to tell you this. As you know I’ve been accepted to the State University on scholarship.”

“Yes,” His Dad said his smile fading. “And now that I am 18 I can make my own decision. That’s right isn’t it Dad.” Jack prodded.

“That’s right son.” Dad said frowning.

“Well I have decided that I can go to the Community College for the first two years. That way I can work the farm after school. That is if you’ll have me?” Jack said smiling cockily.

“Oh Mama do you hear that.” Dad shouted. He grabbed Jack and gave him such a hug that Jack couldn’t breath. Then he swung to the nearest passer by with Jack still under one arm and boomed. “This is my son Jack, ain’t he something?”