03/01/2004: "The Cockroach"

By Carol J. Warren

Once upon a time there was cockroach named Sly. He was scary looking and ugly but he was also very, very fast. Sly always hid in the shadows; in the cracks and crevices others wouldn’t even have seen, waiting for the darkness to come. He loved the darkness. It hid him from others and allowed him to sneak in and out without being noticed. He loved to sneak and slither along and hide. He had a sleek long body and long feelers on his head. When it was too dark to see where he was going he could just feel his way along. Darkness was not a problem for him he thrived in the dark. He lived in the dark spaces between the walls.

But he hated the light. Anytime he was in the kitchen and someone came in the middle of the night and turned the light on he would run as though the light were acid or something. He was terrified of the light. I mean lets face it you can’t hide in bright light and you can’t go unnoticed there. He never thought there was anything wrong with living like that. I mean after all he is a cockroach; that’s just the way he is made. It’s the way he is supposed to be right?

Everyone else that he knew was a cockroach and they all lived that same way. A few others tried to bug him and tell him that he needed to do what was right and live in the light but Sly didn’t have any reason to stop what he was doing and he didn’t have any reason to believe what he was doing was wrong. It felt right to live in the night so Sly ignored all of these warnings. He wasn’t hurting anything, so what’s the big deal? He’s a nice enough guy on the whole.

Then one day as Sly was waiting for the last rays of light to disappear he saw one of his buddies get squished. I mean it happens to the best of them. That’s just the way it is. Sly always felt that your life just ended when you got squished and that was that. He didn’t buy this life after death stuff. He thought that was all just a bunch of hooey. That is until he saw his close friend get squished. It wasn’t the seeing him get squished that shook Sly up; it was what happened next. These weird creepy shadowy figures came out of nowhere and began to pull on him until they pulled him out of his squished body.

They were evil gruesome looking creatures with long claws and glowing eyes. They just kept pulling on his pal. His pal was screaming for help when suddenly the floor seemed to just open up by itself to reveal a place of intense fire. Sly figured this must be the hell he had heard about. The flames seemed to reach up and wrap themselves around his friend dragging him in to them like a victim going into the jaws of a predator. His friend was clawing and screaming falling into the midst of hell and then the floor closed and they were all gone. Sly was trembling. The squished remains of his friends were still there but his friend he knew was not there. And he couldn’t deal with where his friend was.

Why would his friend go to hell though? He wasn’t a bad roach as far as roaches go. He was a lot nicer than Sly. But then what does all of this really mean anyway? Does it mean that Sly is going to this hell some day when he gets squished to burn forever? Sly shuddered at the thought. He was trying to remember what those goodie two shoes bugs had said about God and going to heaven when you die. It all seemed to have something to do with repenting of your sins and asking Jesus Christ into your life.

Sly thought about it. He didn’t want to get saved. He loved the darkness. He didn’t want to be rescued from it. But he didn’t want to go to hell either. A roach doesn’t live forever though; everyone knows that. Okay, okay, so Sly was going to have to make a deal with this Jesus guy, how bad could it be? He would just repent of his many, many sins and then everything would be ok and he could go back to living the way he wanted to. Okay so how do you find this Jesus guy? Oh yeah he remembered the rules now. You just talk to him and he hears you no matter where you are. Yeah, that was what the good bugs had said. So this was going to be a piece of cake.

Sly began to pray. “Lord Jesus,” he said sneakily, “I want to get saved.” Much to Sly’s surprise the Lord appeared and looked straight a Sly. Sly was used to hiding when someone looked at him, so it was hard for him to stay put with the Lord just staring at him. “But,” he thought, “Sly my boy just stay cool or the gigs up. You can do this my man. Just sit tight and hang tough.”

The Lord did not say a word He just looked at Sly as though he were waiting for something. So Sly repeated his request, “Lord I want to repent of my sins and get saved.” Sly looked at the Lord sideways but there was no change in the expression on his face. “Am I saved now?” Sly asked.

The Lord shook his head, “I don’t sell fire insurance Sly. You can’t go to heaven just by saying some words you don’t really mean. You love the darkness and you hate the light. You don’t want to be saved and live in the light you just want fire insurance. Right Sly?”

Sly was taken aback that the Lord seemed to know his scheme. So the Lord wasn’t going to buy into this huh. Maybe this was going to be harder than Sly thought. “Now look here Lord,” Sly said, “I’ll level with you, since you seem to know how I feel and what I think anyway, I’ll tell you the truth. You’re right I don’t want to be a Christian; I don’t want to be a light bug. But I also very much don’t want to go to hell. Now Lord here’s the deal, I can’t change who I am. I’m a roach. Roaches live in the dark. That’s just who a roach is. So what do I need to do to be saved? There’s gotta be a way that a roach can be saved, right Lord?” Sly said grinning at the Lord.

The Lord just kept staring at Sly like he couldn’t believe he had just said that. “To be truly saved you must give all of your life to me and live for me in the light for the rest of your life.”

Sly gulped hard. He thought the Lord would surely make it easier than that. The idea of walking in the light gave Sly the heebie-jeebies. But the idea of going to hell one day was an even worse feeling. “Look here Lord, I just gotta tell you like it is. I want to give my life to you, I do. But I just can’t. I don’t know how to feel any different than I feel. I want to be saved. There’s gotta be something you can do for me. What can I do to be saved?”

The Lord stared at Sly a long time as though he was deciding if Sly really meant it. It made Sly feel really uncomfortable but he waited. What he really felt like doing was running away to hide but he knew he’d never get to heaven like that, so he waited. The Lord held out His hand in a jester for Sly to come. Sly wasn’t sure about that. I mean the Lord is bright. But the Lord just kept his hand out waiting and looking at Sly. “Sheesh, ok.” Sly said reluctantly, “Where are we going?”

“Just follow me.” The Lord said reaching for one of Sly’s feelers.

“What are you doing?” Sly asked, “I need my feelers to feel my way along. If you’re holding one I won’t be able to feel my way.”

The Lord just stared at him. I thought you wanted to be saved. “I do.” Sly said whining. “Good then give me your feeler and I will lead the way.” The Lord said.

Sly sighed deeply and gave the Lord his feeler. The Lord held it like he would hold someone’s hand and used it to guide Sly as they walked. It seemed to Sly the further they walked the brighter it got and the brighter it got the more uncomfortable it was. Finally the Lord stopped. “You can’t see very well Sly with that black glob on your face in front of your eyes.”

Sure enough Sly became aware of big black glob blocking his vision. Why hadn’t he ever seen that before? Maybe there had never been enough light before. It was a hideous black growth. Sly tried to pull it off but it wouldn’t budge. “Oh this is just great. Not only am I walking in the light I now have this huge growth I can’t pull off.”

Sly looked at the Lord. He was chuckling. “Great it’s good to know that at least I’m entertaining.” Sly said bitterly.

“You can’t pull it off.” The Lord said still chuckling. “You’re the one that put it there.” Sly didn’t remember putting anything like that on. He didn’t even know what it was. He looked at the Lord, “Well what is it and how do I get rid of it?”

“It is your temper.” Said the Lord. “It gets in the way a lot. Why don’t you ask me to help you? I am the only one that can help you anyway.”

“Well why didn’t you say so?” Sly said, “Could you please remove this, this temper thing?”

“Yes I will help you. If you really want to get rid of it,” the Lord said.
“Yes, I really want to get rid of it.” Sly said emphatically.

“Then I will help you.” The Lord reached over and the large growth just fell into his hand.

All along the way Sly kept finding more and more large ugly growths. He had never noticed any of them before. But the Lord told him they had been there all along. He didn’t know why he had never noticed them before. One by one the Lord brought them to his attention and helped him remove them. The Lord never intervened unless Sly asked him to and unless Sly really wanted to see the growth gone.

They had been walking for a long, long time. Months had passed. But still the Lord said nothing about how Sly could be saved. He just kept walking with him. Sometimes Sly would get frustrated with everything taking so long and stop and then the Lord would just stare at him; as though to ask are you serious about this or not? Then Sly would let him take his feeler again and start walking again.

One day Sly got particularly upset. “When are you going to tell me how to get saved? We have been walking forever and ever. I’m tired and we still don’t seem to be getting any where.”

“What are you talking about?” The Lord asked.

“What am I talking about, what am I talking about?” Sly couldn’t believe He could say that. “Look at me I’m a roach, don’t you get it? I don’t belong in the light. But we just keep walking deeper and deeper into the light. When are you going to tell me how to get saved?”

The Lord stared at him for a while like are you serious. Then he held up a mirror and told Sly to look in the mirror. “I know what I look like.” Sly said turning to look in the mirror. But to Sly’s surprise the reflection was not that of a roach. It looked something like the Lord but with a lot of blemishes and growths and feelers coming out of his head and of course much, much smaller. “What,” Sly was shocked, “Who is that? I mean is that me?”

“Yes Sly,” the Lord said, “You keep wanting me to tell you how to get saved as though it were something you could just say and walk away. But salvation is a daily walk with Me. Allowing me to change you by letting go of one thing at a time. Can’t you see how much you have already changed? When you let me take your feeler and you started to walk with me you gave me your life and your will. Everyday as you continued to walk in my will with me you let go of a little bit more of yourself and receive a little bit more of me.”

“But I thought you were taking me somewhere to pray a special prayer and then it would be over.” Sly stuttered.

“That wouldn’t change you. You would still be a roach hiding in the dark. But look at this Sly.” The Lord said and with a wave of his hand it was pitch dark. Sly felt afraid. He couldn’t see. “Lord, Lord where are you. I can’t see you. Help me.” Sly screamed.

“You see Sly,” The Lord said returning the light. “You are not a creature of the dark anymore, you don’t love the dark anymore, you don’t even like it. You’ve have really changed from the heart. And you changed by spending time walking with me daily.”

“But I’m still a mess.” Sly said sadly looking in the mirror at all the blemishes and growths and the stupid feelers on his head.

The Lord smiled. “How did you change this much Sly?”

Sly thought about it. “I changed by yielding my life to you one day at a time and walking with you one step at a time.”

“And that is how you will continue to change and grow” The Lord said, “That’s how it began and that’s how it must continue. If you stop or give up as you have felt like doing from time to time, then the darkness will return. But as long as you walk with me I will help you care of one thing at a time, one step at a time.” Then he looked a Sly with a loving grin. “Are you coming?” He asked holding out his hand.

That’s when Sly realized he loved the Lord and that he wasn’t just saying it he really did love him and he loved the light. He didn’t just want fire insurance anymore, he really wanted to walk with the Lord and be like him. “I wouldn’t miss a step.” He said smiling back. No it was more than just fire insurance to him. Now it was a love relationship of two dear ones walking together through life.

You see salvation really is one decision at a time, one step at a time, one day at a time every day.

Amen.