03/28/2004: "Broken Trust"

By Carol J. Warren

Once upon a time there was a man who lived far, far up in the mountains all by himself. He didn’t mind living by himself, as a matter of fact he chose that life style because people had hurt him so many times that he just didn’t feel that he could trust anyone anymore. So he felt it was just best to live by himself where no one could ever hurt him again.

He was a shepherd, which would have been a lonely life if he didn’t have such a wonderful sheep dog that was also his very best friend. He loved his sheep dog very much. They worked together, played together, ate together and even slept together. The dog was very smart and very loving. He was loyal, faithful and devoted, who could ever ask for more? They had been together for many years.

Then one day the man woke up and the dog was gone. There was no warning or anything; the dog was just gone. He looked for him but he couldn’t find him. The man was getting very worried. It just wasn’t like his dog to leave and not come back. The man called and whistled but the dog didn’t come. Finally the man decided that the dog must be hurt. He searched and searched for him but he never found him.

Finally after several days he gave up searching for him. He finally realized that whatever had happened his dog was gone and he was not coming back. The man was very sad and very lonely. But now he had another problem to face. He knew that he needed a good sheep dog to manage the sheep but sheep dogs cost money, how was he ever going to be able to afford one.

He carefully gathered all of the money he had. It wasn’t very much but he had no choice he had to at least try to buy a sheep dog, other wise he would lose everything. So he took his money and started the long walk into the village at the bottom of the mountain to see what he could buy.

He knew good sheep dogs were very expensive, but he was hoping that someone would have mercy on him and give him a break under the circumstance. He went from farm to farm looking at sheep dogs but they were all far too much money for him to even consider. A fully trained dog was out of the question, he would have to sell all of his sheep to afford such a dog, and if he sold all of his sheep he wouldn’t need the dog. So he tried for a mature dog that wasn’t trained but was trainable.

Wow, even the untrained dogs were very expensive. Finally he decided to just look at the puppies but he didn’t even have enough money for a sheepdog puppy. Finally one man did feel sorry for him and sold him a puppy that was the runt of the litter for the little money he had. “I admit he doesn’t look very promising,” the farmer said, “but if you work with him he just might turn into a good enough dog to do the job.” That was not very encouraging. The man gave the farmer the little bit of money he had and walked off with the “puppy”.

He was very upset that all he had been able to get was a puppy. Not only was he a puppy but he was also the runt of the litter. He was probably a stupid dog that just wasted the last of his money. The more the man thought about it the more bitter he grew. He missed his wonderful loving hard working dog. The more he thought of how wonderful his old dog had been the more he resented this dumb puppy.

The puppy however was ready to make friends for life. He had just left his mom and all his brothers and sisters behind for the first time. He had a new owner and he needed to make friends with his new owner so he would feel safe and like everything was ok. When he got to his new home, the cabin in the mountains, he sniffed around. He couldn’t figure out why he could smell another dog but didn’t see one.

He tried to play with the man but the man just yelled at him. He couldn’t figure out what he had done wrong. He’d never been yelled out for playing before. The man began to try to train the dog. But the dog was still just a puppy and wanted to play. The man became very frustrated and angry. He needed a sheepdog and he needed one now. He needed this silly pup to learn fast, he didn’t have time to wait for him to grow up.

As a result of all this the man was always very harsh with the puppy. He never talked nice to the puppy and he never just petted him. One day the puppy chewed the man’s good slippers. The man got so mad he smacked the dog on the nose really hard. The puppy yelped and ran outside. Later when the man was ready to start training again he called for the puppy to come but the puppy didn’t come.

He went outside; there was the puppy just sitting under a tree starring at him. He called and whistled but the puppy just looked at him. Finally the puppy just got up and walked away. The man was puzzled, what had gotten into this pup? Later that day when the puppy came into to eat the man walked over to him but the puppy backed away from the man. He would not let him get anywhere near him. He ate and slept in the house but not “with” the man.

The man knew the dog needed to be trained to work with the sheep and trained quickly. If he waited until the puppy got older he would not be trainable. He needed to teach the puppy to work with him in any situation. He was starting to be very concerned. The man being a good Christian began to pray and ask the Lord for help. “Lord I spent the last of my money for this puppy and he is no good. He’s not teachable. He won’t even let me near him. Something is wrong with him; he’s skittish. Now I have no money and no good dog. Please help me Lord, I’ve got to have a good dog to manage my sheep. I don’t know what to do.”

That night as the man slept he had a dream. In the dream Jesus appeared to the man. “Good,” thought the man. “He will show me what to do.” But Jesus just stared at him sadly for a long time. It made the man very uncomfortable. The man tried to back away but there was a wall behind him. Finally the man decided to try to speak.

“Lord,” the man said, “I have spent the last of my money purchasing this dog and he is a bad dog. He is not teachable and he’s skittish. Now I have no money to purchase another dog and I need a dog to run my sheep. What shall I do?”

Then the Lord spoke, “He’s not a bad dog. He’s just a puppy away from his home, his mother, and everything he knows for the first time. When he turned to you for love and acceptance you were harsh and mean to him. You betrayed his trust in you and a broken trust is hard to mend. You were angry at him because he was not like your other dog and because he is just a puppy but there is nothing he can do to help that. He just needs to grow. But now he doesn’t trust you and broken trust does not mend easy.”

The Lord paused and looked at the Shepherd. “Isn’t that why you live alone – people hurt you and betrayed your trust? Now you have done the same thing to this puppy. You have been mean to him for something that is not even his fault and that he has no control over.”

“Oh Lord,” said the man, “I guess I was hard on him. I’m really sorry. What shall I do to make things right again. I’ve got to have a good sheep dog Lord.”

“I will cause him to understand why you were harsh with him,” the Lord said, “perhaps that will help. But still a broken trust is hard to mend.” Then the Lord was gone and the man woke up.

True to His word the Lord caused the puppy to understand. He came now when the man called and would allow the man to teach him but he would not sleep with the man, or be his friend in any way. He would not eat with him or play with him. He just did the work. He became a fine sheep dog but the man was still lonely for the companionship he had with the other dog. This new dog would not even let him pet him. The man thought he didn’t really care about that part but the truth was he did and he was miserably lonely without it.

Finally the man took it to the Lord again. “Lord I thank you for helping my new dog understand and work with me. He has turned out to be a fine sheep dog. But Lord I have to admit to you that I am very lonely and though the dog works well he will not let me come near him. What can I do? I know the dog is lonely too but he won’t let me love him? Please help me Lord I pray. Amen.”

Again the Lord came to him in a dream and again the Lord stared at him sadly for a long time until the man felt like he wanted to run away but he couldn’t because there was a wall behind him. Finally the Lord spoke, “Broken Trust is hard to mend. Though the dog wants to be petted and loved more than anything he still can’t bring himself to trust you.” The Lord turned again and looked at the man sadly, “Sounds like you doesn’t it?” Jesus said, “You came here to live all alone because people hurt you. Though you pushed it all deep down inside and hid it, it is still there. It is that pain and broken trust that won’t allow you to let me come near even though you want it very much. It makes me very sad.” The Lord said sighing.

“I want to love you and comfort you. I want to be your best friend.” The Lord said sadly, “And even though you let me teach you, you will not allow me to draw near. There are some things that you will need for the days that lie ahead but you can only learn them by letting me love you. There is no other way.”

The man began to weep. He knew what the Lord said was true. But every time the Lord drew near he found something else to do or something else to think about. In other words he always ran away. He wanted to allow the Lord to draw near but he just couldn’t seem to stop himself from running away.

“What shall I do?” the man cried, “I can’t seem to stop myself from running away and I don’t know what to do.”

“I will help you like this.” The Lord said, He gently blew His breath toward the man and a great calm came over him. “Now push the veils of fear and broken trust aside and draw near.”

In the dream the man was behind many veils; he pushed through the veils and there the Lord was just beyond them. It was wonderful. He felt so loved. He felt refreshed and stronger. Then the veils fell back into place. “Oh no,” the man yelled, “The veils came back. I have failed you. What shall I do?” he cried.

Turn to the Bible and read 2 Corinthians 3:16-18. The man turned to the scripture and read, “Nevertheless when it shall turn to the Lord, the veil shall be taken away. Now the Lord is that Spirit: and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord.”

“Every time you push the veils of fear and broken trust aside to behold me,” the Lord said, “a little bit more of you changes to be like me, until one day the veils will just be gone. Only these times beyond the veils can heal the hurt and broken trust so that you can draw near.”

“But how do I do this?” the man asked

“When you come to me in prayer,” the Lord said, “ just ask me to breath on you numbing the flesh so you can draw near. Push the veils of fear and broken trust aside by commanding them to leave in the name of Jesus Christ. Then enter in to my presence. Even though this only works for the moment, every moment you spend in my presence a little more of you changes to be like me and soon you will be free to be with me all the time.”

“Thanks Lord,” the man said and then he hesitated, “But what about my dog?”

“It is much the same for your dog,” The Lord said, “Wait until he is sleeping and then go pet him and gently love on him. When he wakes up require nothing from him and after a while just quietly walk away. This will begin to build his trust in you and soon he will be a good companion.” Then the Lord was gone and the dream was over.

It took time and patience both for the man and the dog but soon they both learned to trust again. They learned to let the hurt be healed so they could be loved. We also must allow the Lord to heal our hurts and restore our trust.

We all need the Lord to breath on us sometimes and we all have veils. What are your veils that you need to push past to spend time in His presence where you can be changed into His image. Some people have veils of hurt and Broken Trust like the Shepherd did, others have veils of anger, bitterness, fear or any number of things. We all need to spend time in the presence of the Lord to be healed. Seek the Lord; find out what your veils are. Get quiet before Him and let Him breath on you so you can draw near to Him. It will change your life.